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If I could run away…

If I could run away from all the pain inside
If all these knots I have weren’t tied
If all the anger just floated away
If I could have just ONE good day

One day when I feel free to fly
One day not having to ask why
One day where I’m not wanting to scream
Just one day when I could dream.

If I could run away in my mind
Run away and out of this bind
Run away to mountains wide
To a place I don’t have to hide.

Run away to the sea so blue
Run to where my dreams come true
Float away to the clouds above
Float away where I’d find love

But the clouds are grey and the storm is near
And in this storm I still feel the fear
And the mountains are too big to climb
And I’m running out of precious time

The sea is rough, the tides are high
And I am still here asking why
My wings are broken, I cannot glide
Still my pain is trapped inside

My self esteem is in the ground
Happiness isn’t mean to be found
Well that’s the conclusions I have drawn
A thousand times my heart was torn

The sun won’t shine upon my face
My life is what they call a waste
No hope for me cause I was used
No hope for those who are abused

I’d like to prove them all to be wrong
But I can no longer hear my heart’s song
I have to agree, my life is a waste
I am nothing, I take up space

I am told daily what I am worth
She resents the day of my unplanned birth
I am here now though I can’t breathe
So I am guessing I should just leave

Should I turn my back and walk away?
Well there really is no more to say
I admit I’m running from the pain
But you’d prefer not to see me again

I can’t call this place my home
Cause in a home, you’re not meant to be alone
You’re meant to feel love, happy, and free,
I should be allowed to be the real me

I’ve searched for peace, high and low
And I’ve realised that I have to go
It’s my life I dont need you near
I’m driving now – I can steer

So take your hands off my wheel
Just have to play the cards they deal
It’s my life – I have control
I need to feel that I am whole

Need to feel like I’m complete
Need not just to take a back seat
I’ts my life – I’m driving now
I didn’t ask you to tell me how

I’m driving away – indicating right
I’m turning now – leaving the fight
When I drive away don’t expect a wave
Don’t talk to me – I’m in my cave

I want to spend some time alone
Let me decide where I call home
Don’t say you’ll miss me mum
Do you seriously think I am that dumb?

I can make it just with me
And for once I will be free!
I’ll smile and laugh and cry if I must
I’ll wipe my hands free of YOUR dust

All the past misery that I’ve been through
All the pain caused mainly by you
Will float away with the storm
And I pray to God your heart is torn

The clouds are gathering above your head
Remember all the things you’ve said?
I pray you remember every day
And that all your pain is there to stay

I won’t be there whenever you cry
I won’t be there when you ask why
And when you realise what you’ve done wrong
Don’t think that I’ll help you stay strong

Cause for all I care, if you are weak
And the thunder roar, and lightning streak
And the clouds open up above your head
Leave you wishing you were dead

When the boulders just roll and roll
When you are left out in the cold
When all around you trees fall down
When you heart and mind are completely bound

When the mountains are too high to climb
When YOU run out of precious time
When the sea is rough and the tides are high
And all you want is to say goodbye

When you’re left living in fear
Don’t ever think that I’ll be near
Cause where are you when I need you mum,
I won’t be there – don’t be so dumb.

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