Lest We Forget: A letter to my child-self

In Stephen King's Dark Tower series, there is a phrase for someone who has acted wrongly, immorally or without thought: "He has forgotten the face of his father".

I will not forget your face.

I will honour your courage, your fortitude, your absolute determination to survive.

When the nightmares come, I will not remember his face, his hands, his breath:

I will remember your face.

I will not forget your migraines, your stomach aches, your back aches, your verrucas, your bitten hands and lips, your burns, your cuts.

I will not forget your face.

You retreated into yourself; built a shell around you that no one could penetrate. You ruthlessly severed your connections to life so that life couldn't touch you. You made this sacrifice that I might survive.

I will not forget your face.

I will accept and express your pain, your fear, your confusion, as you could not. I will cherish and nurture you as you should have been.

I will not forget your face.

When the memories return, when I see the sheen on his eye, the sweat on his brow, the blood on his hands -

I will remember your face.

You devised a hundred tricks of disassociation to survive. You lived in the secret places of my soul, biding your time until I was strong enough to welcome you.

I will not forget your face, and I will do that by living to the best of my potential, by helping others survive, and remembering every day to be grateful that you had the courage to go on.

Stand tall, be brave, be true:

I will not forget your face.

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